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Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Shared Memories and the Spiritual Value of Group Activities
It has been way too long since this blog has been updated. Forgiveness, please.
Next month, we are taking our middle school students to Canobie Lake Park and our high school students to Six Flags. On the face of it, these just look like fun ways to spend a summer day. And certainly, that is true. For a roller coaster enthusiast like me, I can't wait to go. But I believe that there is something far more important happening on these trips then multiple trips on Bizarro.
First, is the strategic timing of the events themselves. We go right after we welcome our new 7th graders to SURGE and our new freshmen to HighLight. This is a great chance for our new students to be incorporated and included with the rest of the group. This is a chance for them to build relationships with the students in the grade ahead of them and closer connections with their own classmates. It is their first chance to be a part of the shared history of the group.
Which brings me to my second point. Shared memories are vital for the life of a group. It can help build connections between people who don't have too many points of connection. It can help level the playing field for people who don't have as long of a history with our group as others. For instance, we have many students who have known each other since sharing crayons in the Lamb's Workshop preschool. We have many students who have been together through VBS after VBS and through Sunday School and Confirmation. We also have students who have not been a part of us for that long and who end up feeling a bit left out of the group history. The Canobie trip and the Six Flags trip and other trips like them make them a part of the group history, and give them a memory to share with everyone else in the group.
This is vitally important. One of our core values is our "Relationship with Each Other." We value fellowship and friendship and relationship at a peer level and think it is of great importance in the spiritual development of students. From my perspective, this isn't just a fun day of roller coasters and fried dough. This is a chance for our students to build relationships with one another by connecting outside of routine for the purpose of building a history together. This base level friendship can then be the foundation upon which we build accountability, encouragement, community, and service. These kind of trips pay dividends in small groups, in Bible studies, in youth group gatherings because it helps our students be more aware of each other, more comfortable with each other, and more trusting of each other because they have a longer history together.
So while these events, in and of itself, may not have the spiritual impact of Winterfest or CHIC or even a regular night of HighLight, they do help us build a shared memory as a group and draw students closer to one another.
First, is the strategic timing of the events themselves. We go right after we welcome our new 7th graders to SURGE and our new freshmen to HighLight. This is a great chance for our new students to be incorporated and included with the rest of the group. This is a chance for them to build relationships with the students in the grade ahead of them and closer connections with their own classmates. It is their first chance to be a part of the shared history of the group.
Which brings me to my second point. Shared memories are vital for the life of a group. It can help build connections between people who don't have too many points of connection. It can help level the playing field for people who don't have as long of a history with our group as others. For instance, we have many students who have known each other since sharing crayons in the Lamb's Workshop preschool. We have many students who have been together through VBS after VBS and through Sunday School and Confirmation. We also have students who have not been a part of us for that long and who end up feeling a bit left out of the group history. The Canobie trip and the Six Flags trip and other trips like them make them a part of the group history, and give them a memory to share with everyone else in the group.
This is vitally important. One of our core values is our "Relationship with Each Other." We value fellowship and friendship and relationship at a peer level and think it is of great importance in the spiritual development of students. From my perspective, this isn't just a fun day of roller coasters and fried dough. This is a chance for our students to build relationships with one another by connecting outside of routine for the purpose of building a history together. This base level friendship can then be the foundation upon which we build accountability, encouragement, community, and service. These kind of trips pay dividends in small groups, in Bible studies, in youth group gatherings because it helps our students be more aware of each other, more comfortable with each other, and more trusting of each other because they have a longer history together.
So while these events, in and of itself, may not have the spiritual impact of Winterfest or CHIC or even a regular night of HighLight, they do help us build a shared memory as a group and draw students closer to one another.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sanford: Day 6
"Hey Steve, can we stay another week?"
"Hey Steve, we stayed up late last night brainstorming all these ideas for things we can do in Sanford!"
"Hey Steve, can we fundraise money to build the kids a new playground."
Yes, our teens have caught a passion for mission work in Sanford.
Anyone who knows me well knows I hate it when teens get stereotyped as lazy, selfish, and irresponsible. I hate this because I know the stereotype is not true. Our students this week have constantly proved this stereotype wrong.
They gave up a week of their summer vacations, when they could be hanging out with friends, sleeping in, earning money, or a whole host of other stuff to sleep on the floor, wake up early, work hard (for no financial gain), take 3-minute showers, let three 4-year olds hang from their arms, and put aside almost every selfish desire for the sake of someone else.
Today our teens finished a five-day drywalling job on Day 4.
Today our teens led a flawlessly-executed day camp program for the most kids we have had all week.
This week, our teens learned how to mulch, weed, plant, cut and hang drywall, paint, stain. Not only that, but they picked up on it fast enough to accomplish more than was expected of them.
This week, our teens left a massive impression on this community, encouraged a struggling community organization, made some children in need of love feel super-loved, and and brought joy to a sad part of the world.
This week, our teens learned to love the unlovable, care for the broken-hearted, and cultivate soil so that Evergreen Covenant can come in and plant some seeds.
This week, our teens learned to wash people's feet, to serve people to the point of near-humiliation, to love everyone.
I was blessed tonight when Pastor Frank told our students that he was a youth pastor for 15 years, and worked with several youth groups, and that our group of kids was the best he had ever seen.
I agree with his appraisal, wholeheartedly.
Parents, you should be proud of your kids.
I know I am.
See ya tomorrow night,
Steve
"Hey Steve, we stayed up late last night brainstorming all these ideas for things we can do in Sanford!"
"Hey Steve, can we fundraise money to build the kids a new playground."
Yes, our teens have caught a passion for mission work in Sanford.
Anyone who knows me well knows I hate it when teens get stereotyped as lazy, selfish, and irresponsible. I hate this because I know the stereotype is not true. Our students this week have constantly proved this stereotype wrong.
They gave up a week of their summer vacations, when they could be hanging out with friends, sleeping in, earning money, or a whole host of other stuff to sleep on the floor, wake up early, work hard (for no financial gain), take 3-minute showers, let three 4-year olds hang from their arms, and put aside almost every selfish desire for the sake of someone else.
Today our teens finished a five-day drywalling job on Day 4.
Today our teens led a flawlessly-executed day camp program for the most kids we have had all week.
This week, our teens learned how to mulch, weed, plant, cut and hang drywall, paint, stain. Not only that, but they picked up on it fast enough to accomplish more than was expected of them.
This week, our teens left a massive impression on this community, encouraged a struggling community organization, made some children in need of love feel super-loved, and and brought joy to a sad part of the world.
This week, our teens learned to love the unlovable, care for the broken-hearted, and cultivate soil so that Evergreen Covenant can come in and plant some seeds.
This week, our teens learned to wash people's feet, to serve people to the point of near-humiliation, to love everyone.
I was blessed tonight when Pastor Frank told our students that he was a youth pastor for 15 years, and worked with several youth groups, and that our group of kids was the best he had ever seen.
I agree with his appraisal, wholeheartedly.
Parents, you should be proud of your kids.
I know I am.
See ya tomorrow night,
Steve
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sanford: Day 5
Well, it's the middle of the week.
We are all a little tired, a little crabby, and a little hungry.
It's the day we all had to push through, fight through, and crawl on our hands and knees to get through.
It's the day we all start to miss our own beds. It's the day that all this hard work starts catching up to us.
And we survived it.
Our students continued to soldier on, working their hardest despite their exhaustion. Each of our work sites had new challenges to overcome: the mulching and gardening crew had to clear what could only be described as a jungle; the drywall crew had the challenge of hanging drywall on the ceiling; and the painting crew worked on staining a large deck.
Great progress was made by all teams, and we enjoyed another fun afternoon of hanging out and loving the kids at our afternoon camp.
This evening, an Evergreen Cov family welcomed us to their home for swimming and a BBQ. We are rested and relaxed and ready for another day of ministry tomorrow.
Blessings,
Steve
We are all a little tired, a little crabby, and a little hungry.
It's the day we all had to push through, fight through, and crawl on our hands and knees to get through.
It's the day we all start to miss our own beds. It's the day that all this hard work starts catching up to us.
And we survived it.
Our students continued to soldier on, working their hardest despite their exhaustion. Each of our work sites had new challenges to overcome: the mulching and gardening crew had to clear what could only be described as a jungle; the drywall crew had the challenge of hanging drywall on the ceiling; and the painting crew worked on staining a large deck.
Great progress was made by all teams, and we enjoyed another fun afternoon of hanging out and loving the kids at our afternoon camp.
This evening, an Evergreen Cov family welcomed us to their home for swimming and a BBQ. We are rested and relaxed and ready for another day of ministry tomorrow.
Blessings,
Steve
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Sanford: Day 4
I'm gonna be honest with you right now...
I was really nervous about this trip.
I was nervous because nothing like this has been done before. Evergreen Covenant had never hosted a bunch of teens coming to help them in ministry, and we had never done our own missions trip before.
I was nervous because we had a strange mix of students attending the trip. We had a lot of kids who normally wouldn't interact with each other going. This made me worry about group unity and all that.
I was nervous because we didn't have any chaperones until it was almost too late.
I was nervous I didn't budget enough money for the trip.
I was nervous all our plans would fall apart and no kids would show up.
I was nervous because I have never led a missions trip solo before.
How funny it is then, to see God take my worries and just obliterate them.
So far, our partnership with Evergreen has been fantastic. They have welcomed us here with open arms and have helped us get settled into our work projects. It seems it was the perfect marriage of us needing an affordable missions trip and them needing a boost in their work in the community.
Our students have been WONDERFUL. I have seen leadership skills come to the forefront of kids who had never been given the opportunity to use them. They are getting along beautifully, loving each other and encouraging each other and serving each other. They have responded to the various challenges we have faced with flexibility, willing hearts, and a desire to show God's love to everyone around them. I couldn't be prouder.
Our chaperones have been AWESOME. They have been such a blessing to me and to our students. They have brought wonderful ideas, much-needed organization, joy, and servant's hearts to our group. Our students are blessed to have such wonderful adults demonstrating what it means to follow Christ.
So far, God has provided all we have needed and then some. Our afternoon camp has been excellent, and we have been able to love kids sorely in need of it. God has been good to us. He always has, and always will.
Today we made tremendous progress at all of our work sites. The dry wall is going up very quickly in the community center and we should be able to finish the room by the end of the week. Pray for this center; it was tagged with graffiti last night by vandals, as is a common occurrence. Pray that those who wish to work against this project would find something better to do.
Our mulching and gardening crew are almost done with their assigned work and will be able to move on to additional projects for the organization they are serving. Our painters at the homeless shelter finished the railings on the deck and will be able to stain the deck tomorrow.
God in his goodness held the rain off until after our ministry work today. And boy did it rain! We had thunder and lightning, and the lights at the Chinese restaurant we were eating at flickered on and off. Fortunately, the rain passed through by the time we were done and God blessed us with a very bright rainbow.
Again, thank you for your prayers and support. Continue to pray for good health, good weather, team unity, and energy. We are getting to the middle of the week when people can start getting sick of other people and start getting crabby and irritable. Please pray this doesn't happen.
Blessings,
Steve
I was really nervous about this trip.
I was nervous because nothing like this has been done before. Evergreen Covenant had never hosted a bunch of teens coming to help them in ministry, and we had never done our own missions trip before.
I was nervous because we had a strange mix of students attending the trip. We had a lot of kids who normally wouldn't interact with each other going. This made me worry about group unity and all that.
I was nervous because we didn't have any chaperones until it was almost too late.
I was nervous I didn't budget enough money for the trip.
I was nervous all our plans would fall apart and no kids would show up.
I was nervous because I have never led a missions trip solo before.
How funny it is then, to see God take my worries and just obliterate them.
So far, our partnership with Evergreen has been fantastic. They have welcomed us here with open arms and have helped us get settled into our work projects. It seems it was the perfect marriage of us needing an affordable missions trip and them needing a boost in their work in the community.
Our students have been WONDERFUL. I have seen leadership skills come to the forefront of kids who had never been given the opportunity to use them. They are getting along beautifully, loving each other and encouraging each other and serving each other. They have responded to the various challenges we have faced with flexibility, willing hearts, and a desire to show God's love to everyone around them. I couldn't be prouder.
Our chaperones have been AWESOME. They have been such a blessing to me and to our students. They have brought wonderful ideas, much-needed organization, joy, and servant's hearts to our group. Our students are blessed to have such wonderful adults demonstrating what it means to follow Christ.
So far, God has provided all we have needed and then some. Our afternoon camp has been excellent, and we have been able to love kids sorely in need of it. God has been good to us. He always has, and always will.
Today we made tremendous progress at all of our work sites. The dry wall is going up very quickly in the community center and we should be able to finish the room by the end of the week. Pray for this center; it was tagged with graffiti last night by vandals, as is a common occurrence. Pray that those who wish to work against this project would find something better to do.
Our mulching and gardening crew are almost done with their assigned work and will be able to move on to additional projects for the organization they are serving. Our painters at the homeless shelter finished the railings on the deck and will be able to stain the deck tomorrow.
God in his goodness held the rain off until after our ministry work today. And boy did it rain! We had thunder and lightning, and the lights at the Chinese restaurant we were eating at flickered on and off. Fortunately, the rain passed through by the time we were done and God blessed us with a very bright rainbow.
Again, thank you for your prayers and support. Continue to pray for good health, good weather, team unity, and energy. We are getting to the middle of the week when people can start getting sick of other people and start getting crabby and irritable. Please pray this doesn't happen.
Blessings,
Steve
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sanford: Day 3
We had an awesome day on our first day of ministry here in Sanford!
We were able to send three groups out in the morning to serve at various places in the community. One team went to serve an organization that helps disabled children and adults. They got to some much-needed gardening and mulching for them, and the difference was incredible! They will continue to help weed, mulch, and plant flowers for this organization.
Another crew headed to a homeless shelter in Alfred where they began one of several painting projects to help improve the outside appearance of their facilities. Today they tackled the painting of the stairs and ramp that lead to the front door.
Our third crew worked on installing drywall in an old community center at the park where we had our afternoon camp. This community center has been in a state of disrepair for many, many years, and was once the center of a bustling community park. As the neighborhood declined, so did the park. Evergreen Covenant has been hard at work to help a community organization restore this building and provide the community with a functioning community center.
Our afternoon camp was a lot of fun, as we played games, made crafts, and loved on 11 kids from the neighborhood. We had some kinks to work out, but I think we have a great plan for tomorrow.
Tonight we enjoyed dinner at Pat's Pizza, and took the kids on a shopping trip to Marden's. Both are Maine institutions. The kids did some shopping for their "Secret Servant Project." Every student has been assigned another person in the group to secretly serve and encourage this week. It's been a lot of fun so far, and it should get even better as the week goes along.
We talked a little bit today about how it's so easy to have a great attitude and servant's heart on a missions trip but the second we get home we are whining about dinner or complaining about our parents or being jerks to our siblings. I challenged the students to take the attitudes they have been developing on this trip home with them.
Tomorrow will be much the same thing. We are all having a great time and the students have been AWESOME. Thank you for your prayers and support.
Steve
We were able to send three groups out in the morning to serve at various places in the community. One team went to serve an organization that helps disabled children and adults. They got to some much-needed gardening and mulching for them, and the difference was incredible! They will continue to help weed, mulch, and plant flowers for this organization.
Another crew headed to a homeless shelter in Alfred where they began one of several painting projects to help improve the outside appearance of their facilities. Today they tackled the painting of the stairs and ramp that lead to the front door.
Our third crew worked on installing drywall in an old community center at the park where we had our afternoon camp. This community center has been in a state of disrepair for many, many years, and was once the center of a bustling community park. As the neighborhood declined, so did the park. Evergreen Covenant has been hard at work to help a community organization restore this building and provide the community with a functioning community center.
Our afternoon camp was a lot of fun, as we played games, made crafts, and loved on 11 kids from the neighborhood. We had some kinks to work out, but I think we have a great plan for tomorrow.
Tonight we enjoyed dinner at Pat's Pizza, and took the kids on a shopping trip to Marden's. Both are Maine institutions. The kids did some shopping for their "Secret Servant Project." Every student has been assigned another person in the group to secretly serve and encourage this week. It's been a lot of fun so far, and it should get even better as the week goes along.
We talked a little bit today about how it's so easy to have a great attitude and servant's heart on a missions trip but the second we get home we are whining about dinner or complaining about our parents or being jerks to our siblings. I challenged the students to take the attitudes they have been developing on this trip home with them.
Tomorrow will be much the same thing. We are all having a great time and the students have been AWESOME. Thank you for your prayers and support.
Steve
Sunday, July 24, 2011
sanford: Day 2
Day 2 was a blast!
After a wonderful morning of worship with Evergreen Covenant, we went over to Kennebunk to go to the beach. We had an epic game of four square on the beach and went for several cold dips in the ocean. After this, we were treated to showers at the home of someone from Evergreen.
After dinner at Bennett's in Kennebunk (cannot recommend highly enough), we came back to the church to get everything ready for tomorrow.
Please pray it doesn't rain tomorrow; if it rains we can't have our afternoon camp.
Thanks for all your prayers.
Steve
After a wonderful morning of worship with Evergreen Covenant, we went over to Kennebunk to go to the beach. We had an epic game of four square on the beach and went for several cold dips in the ocean. After this, we were treated to showers at the home of someone from Evergreen.
After dinner at Bennett's in Kennebunk (cannot recommend highly enough), we came back to the church to get everything ready for tomorrow.
Please pray it doesn't rain tomorrow; if it rains we can't have our afternoon camp.
Thanks for all your prayers.
Steve
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Sanford: Day 1
Boy did I mess up big time. And boy did God (and Rob Graff) bail me out big time.
I didn't have enough cargo room in our cars. I could've gotten another rental vehicle. But I didn't and we were left without room for a quarter of our luggage.
Praise God that Rob Graff volunteered to drive our bags up to Sanford. Thanks Rob!
We made it without further incident. We are sleeping at the church; the girls are in the main worship space, the boys are in the office complex. Evergreen Covenant meets in a couple storefront buildings between downtown Sanford and the Walmart.
We had an orientation meeting with Pastor Frank and he walked us through the week. We also practiced our "Minute to Win It" games and began our "secret servant" game.
Tomorrow we will be worshipping with Evergreen and hitting the beach.
See ya tomorrow night.
Steve
I didn't have enough cargo room in our cars. I could've gotten another rental vehicle. But I didn't and we were left without room for a quarter of our luggage.
Praise God that Rob Graff volunteered to drive our bags up to Sanford. Thanks Rob!
We made it without further incident. We are sleeping at the church; the girls are in the main worship space, the boys are in the office complex. Evergreen Covenant meets in a couple storefront buildings between downtown Sanford and the Walmart.
We had an orientation meeting with Pastor Frank and he walked us through the week. We also practiced our "Minute to Win It" games and began our "secret servant" game.
Tomorrow we will be worshipping with Evergreen and hitting the beach.
See ya tomorrow night.
Steve
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Mile Markers in Bethany Covenant Youth
One of the most important parts of growing up is the observance of rites of passage. Rites of passage for teenagers are an essential part of measuring their maturity and forming their identity. These rites include entering high school, getting a driver's license, first school dance, first job, and graduating.
At Bethany Covenant Youth, we want to structure our ministry around various rites of passage so we can help our students measure their spiritual maturity alongside their physical and emotional maturity. We want these "mile markers" to help our students discover their identity as a child of God and as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
Each of our Mile Markers corresponds to a level of spiritual formation. We want our students to KNOW Jesus, GROW with Jesus, SHOW the love of Jesus, and GO and make disciples of Jesus. This is the path people take in their faith journeys and a way of seeing how we can keep becoming more and more like our Savior.
Our Mile Marker for KNOW is our 6th Grade Breakfast. At this point, they are leaving children's ministry and entering into youth ministry. They are given a gift from Kelly, our children's pastor, and given a Bible by me that they will need for their next Mile Marker. The next two years for them in ministry will be devoted to KNOWING Jesus by getting to know him better through Scripture reading, prayer, and worship. They will work out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus and with other Christians.
Our Mile Marker for GROW is Confirmation. Our 8th graders go through Confirmation so they can be more sure of what they believe and why they believe it. They are given an overview of the Old and New Testaments, Christian theology, and church history. They are also challenged to memorize Scripture and do a project that displays compassion, mercy, justice, or evangelism. During this year, and the years that follow, students are challenged to GROW in spiritual maturity and start becoming more like Jesus in thought, deed, and attitude.
Our Mile Marker for SHOW is CHIC/Summer missions. Both of these events will expose our students to the world in new ways and help them get a bigger picture view of Christianity, the Kingdom of God, and what their place in all of this is. CHIC will challenge our students to go deeper in their own faith but further in their efforts to show God's love to others. Mission trips help our students be the hands and feet of Christ in serving others and sharing the Good News about Jesus with them. In following up with these major events, students will be challenged to be the hands and feet in their youth group, their church, their homes, the schoools, and their communities.
Our Mile Marker for GO is Senior Challenge. This is a new program and more information about this will be shared later. Senior Challenge will culminate on Graduation Sunday as we celebrate the lives of those who will be leaving our youth ministry, prepared to engage the culture around them and make disciples for Jesus Christ.
We believe as a ministry that rites of passage are essential for helping students seeing where they are in their walk with Jesus, how their faith is growing, and what they can be focusing on in their spiritual growth. It also gives students something to constantly be looking forward to, while at the same time allowing them to look back to see where they came from.
At Bethany Covenant Youth, we want to structure our ministry around various rites of passage so we can help our students measure their spiritual maturity alongside their physical and emotional maturity. We want these "mile markers" to help our students discover their identity as a child of God and as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
Each of our Mile Markers corresponds to a level of spiritual formation. We want our students to KNOW Jesus, GROW with Jesus, SHOW the love of Jesus, and GO and make disciples of Jesus. This is the path people take in their faith journeys and a way of seeing how we can keep becoming more and more like our Savior.
Our Mile Marker for KNOW is our 6th Grade Breakfast. At this point, they are leaving children's ministry and entering into youth ministry. They are given a gift from Kelly, our children's pastor, and given a Bible by me that they will need for their next Mile Marker. The next two years for them in ministry will be devoted to KNOWING Jesus by getting to know him better through Scripture reading, prayer, and worship. They will work out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus and with other Christians.
Our Mile Marker for GROW is Confirmation. Our 8th graders go through Confirmation so they can be more sure of what they believe and why they believe it. They are given an overview of the Old and New Testaments, Christian theology, and church history. They are also challenged to memorize Scripture and do a project that displays compassion, mercy, justice, or evangelism. During this year, and the years that follow, students are challenged to GROW in spiritual maturity and start becoming more like Jesus in thought, deed, and attitude.
Our Mile Marker for SHOW is CHIC/Summer missions. Both of these events will expose our students to the world in new ways and help them get a bigger picture view of Christianity, the Kingdom of God, and what their place in all of this is. CHIC will challenge our students to go deeper in their own faith but further in their efforts to show God's love to others. Mission trips help our students be the hands and feet of Christ in serving others and sharing the Good News about Jesus with them. In following up with these major events, students will be challenged to be the hands and feet in their youth group, their church, their homes, the schoools, and their communities.
Our Mile Marker for GO is Senior Challenge. This is a new program and more information about this will be shared later. Senior Challenge will culminate on Graduation Sunday as we celebrate the lives of those who will be leaving our youth ministry, prepared to engage the culture around them and make disciples for Jesus Christ.
We believe as a ministry that rites of passage are essential for helping students seeing where they are in their walk with Jesus, how their faith is growing, and what they can be focusing on in their spiritual growth. It also gives students something to constantly be looking forward to, while at the same time allowing them to look back to see where they came from.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Friday, January 07, 2011
Winterfest
Last I heard, they needed to go around an accident on the highway and then it should be smooth sailing. They will getting off soon for food at an all-night diner and the road to Winterfest is open.
Winterfest
Everyone, it is slow moving on the way to Winterfest and everyone is doing fine. They will get there, we are just not sure when. Please continue to pray for safety, but at this point there is no cause for alarm. Everyone is in good spirits and maintaining a good attitude.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Christmas Parties
Our Christmas parties will be this weekend, Friday the 17th and Sunday the 19th.
For SURGE, the party is a Sock-Swap! Bring a fun pair of socks, gift-wrapped and ready to be exchanged. Also bring your favorite holiday goodie!
For HighLight, the party is White Elephant, so gift-wrap something from around your house and bring it along your favorite holiday goodies.
After this weekend, there is no youth group for awhile, so come while you can! Youth group will resume the 14th of January for SURGE and the 16th for HighLight.
For SURGE, the party is a Sock-Swap! Bring a fun pair of socks, gift-wrapped and ready to be exchanged. Also bring your favorite holiday goodie!
For HighLight, the party is White Elephant, so gift-wrap something from around your house and bring it along your favorite holiday goodies.
After this weekend, there is no youth group for awhile, so come while you can! Youth group will resume the 14th of January for SURGE and the 16th for HighLight.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Self-Injury
Our students live in a very high-pressure setting. They are encouraged to pursue excellence in academics, sports, music, the arts, etc. They are constantly on the run and constantly busy. This can lead to a great deal of stress in their lives.
One increasingly common form of stress-release is Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI). NSSI includes cutting, burning, rubbing, erasing, implantations, self-tattooing, and other activities that cause physical pain to oneself. It is most common among teenage girls, but not exclusive to them. Boys tend to seek out high-risk activities like extreme fighting or street racing.
Non-suicidal Self-Injury is just that: non-suicidal. Self-injurers do not want to kill themselves. They view self-injury as a way of relieving stress, of taking control of something in a world that seems to be completely out of their control. While this may seem to be a very silly way of relieving stress, we all have our favorite means of relaxing; for me, the best way to relax during a stressful time is to kick back on my couch, turn on a ball game, and eat Cheez-Its and drink Cherry Coke all day. Some might find that to be a silly way of relieving stress. We have to understand that self-injury is merely a coping mechanism for many students.
While it is a coping mechanism, it is a dangerous coping mechanism. Self-injury can be addictive. Every time one cuts or rubs or burns, they are releasing endorphins, aka "nature's heroin." This gives a high sense of pleasure that can be just as addictive as drug use.
Self-injury, while not suicidal by intent, can become suicidal by accident. A person could slip and cut deeper than they wanted to or hit a vein and lose more blood than they intended. They could lose control of the fire with which they are burning themselves and cause serious injuries to themselves. Self-injury can quickly become more serious and more dangerous than intended.
All self-injury is essentially a cry for help. Some people are quite obvious about this and will injure themselves in an easily visible place on their body and make no effort to cover it up. This is a very obvious and desperate cry for attention. Most self-injurers will go to great lengths to cover up their injuries. They will injure themselves on their upper thigh or midriff, places that are usually covered up by clothing, or they will injure themselves on their wrists and wear long sleeves (even in warm weather) or cover up their wounds with bracelets. Most self-injurers are in a place where self-injury is seen as their best option for coping with the stress and anxieties they face in their lives. They have seemingly exhausted all other possibilities for coping.
For parents, this could be a great cause for alarm. This could fill you with a tremendous amount of guilt to see your child injuring herself. It could be quite painful to know that your child is hurting themselves because they feel they have no other options for support or care.
Parents could also react by rushing to quick judgment and becoming angry with their child for cutting herself and punishing the behavior. This reaction ignores the fact that self-injury is a symptom of a larger problem. Again, self-injury is a symptom of a much more important and much more difficult problem.
If you, as a parent, discover your child self-injuring, do not rush to judgment. Do not react in a negative way. Listen to and empathize with your child without giving the appearance of anger, disappointment, or frustration. You may feel all of those things, but deal with those privately. This is a moment when your child needs you and needs unconditional love and support from you.
Affirm your child for being honest with you and affirm your love for them. Listen to them talk about why they injure and the stress that they feel at school or at home. Empathize with them and validate their feelings. Before you begin the process of helping your child overcome this and eventually stop self-injuring, make sure that they know you love them, you care about them, and that you understand them.
At this point you will have a few options, which will be discussed in a later blog post. But until then, make sure you are checking in on your children to see how they are doing and how stressed or anxious they might be. Do not assume that your child is self-injuring, but don't assume that they are immune to it. Keep your eyes out for the warning signs and high levels of stress in your child's life.
Remember that I am here as a resource for you and can point you to other resources as well. The goal of this post is to help you know about this trend, understand what it is, and what your first response should be should this become an issue in your household. Your job as a parent of teens is difficult, and you are always in my prayers.
Steve
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Forms
All forms (schedules, permission slips, policies) can now be accessed at bccyouthforms.blogspot.com. You may also click "Forms" in the links section of this blog. This is where you will be directed for any additional copies of print forms distributed by our ministry.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Confirmation Schedule Spring Semester.
This is the schedule for Cross-Training for our New Testament semester this Spring.
Confirmation Schedule Fall Semester.
Below is the class schedule for Cross-Training Fall Semester.
Please Note: We will NOT be meeting September 29th. Sessions 7 & 10 will be due October 6th.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Fall Season is Here!
Here is what you need to know about school year programming for Bethany Covenant Student Ministries:
1) HighLight (our high school youth group) meets Sundays 6-8 pm
2) SURGE (our junior high youth group) meets Fridays 6-8 pm
3) Cross-Training (our confirmation class) meets Wednesdays 7-8:30 pm
4) Spirit-Level (our youth worship arts ministry) meets Wednesdays 6-7 pm
5) Sunday School (7/8 grades, 9/10 grades, 11/12 grades) meets Sundays during the 9 am service.
For your convenience, the schedule is linked on this blog. Please make use of it to keep up-to-the-moment with our youth ministry programs.
Pray for a great school year of ministry!
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