"It was a gift"

Last night Jessa and I went downtown. As we were getting out of the car I noticed a homeless man sleeping on a bench near us. My initial reaction was one of slight compassion; I wished out loud that we had a blanket to give him. As we walked away I thought it might be wise to check in the trunk for one. To my surprise there was one there. This is not a story about God miraculously providing a blanket, but rather my excuse for not giving it up. The blanket was one that had been given to me as a Christmas gift a few years ago. So I closed my trunk while saying "it was a gift" and walked again towards our original destination. We got a few steps down the road when I realized what I had just done. I had asked for a blanket, received one (though far in advance of when i expected to need it), and completely failed to recognize that this blanket was a gift to me in a much greater sense. It was an incredibly humbling experience. This whole exchange lasted maybe 5 minutes and even after retrieving the blanket I felt more doubts coming into my mind. I realized he had 2 or 3 blankets with him. And after almost ditching the whole thing and getting on with my night I offered the man the blanket, he took it, and that was it. I praise God for providing that blanket and confess that I failed to live up to my end of the bargain. Sure the man ended up with it, but I fought it like a small child fights for a toy that's not even his.

You'd think that would be enough for one night. However, on the way back to the car another homeless man was picking through the trash. A man* driving by slowed down his car and yelled obscenities at the man, telling him to get out of the trash can and get a job. I was extremely mad at the situation unfolding before me. After yelling at the driver, and hearing a faint hearted "no" come from the man at the trash can in response to being told to leave it by the driver, I wondered what rush a person could get out of yelling at someone picking through trash. Did this driver have a special relationship with that trash can? Was the homeless man guilty of stealing someone's unwanted portion of partially eaten, rotting food?

What I took from this night was that I need to look for answers to prayer, and then be willing to act on them. I also learned that as Christians or role as God's hands and feet goes far beyond cheap words. If we aren't willing to help, are we any better than one driving by and yelling? Where is our compassion as a church?